Operation Yellow Elephant
Search Site
Our Sponsor
Reviews of This Blog
"It's ridiculous to compare you to a douche bag; douche bags serve a purpose."
"Pollutes most of what it touches"
"A blog you should be reading for up-to-the-minute news on wingnuts"
"Very funny"
"Shrill"
Online Store
Click here to enter store.
Media Links
Blogroll
100 Monkeys Typing
A Chicken Is Not A Pillage
A Lie A Day
The American Street
Bark Bark Woof Woof
Cloyce's Coffee Klatsch
Correntewire
Dependable Renegade
Elementropy
Jon Swift
Princess Sparkle Pony
The Republic of Dogs
Sadly, No!
Why Now?
World O'Crap
Wingnut Wide Web
Internment Spa Lady
Fat Andy in P-Town
Clown Hall
America's Worst Law Student™
Gipper's Nippers
Freepers Creepers
Feeds
Credits
Site Statistics
Archive for October 2007
Fred Thompson Found Safe in New Hampshire
Posted by Clif on 10/30/07 at 1:53 pm
Category: Gay Issues, Senile Republicans
Fred Thompson wandered into New Hampshire yesterday, apparently lost and without his nurse, and, before he could be retrieved and returned home, soiled himself yet again:
Earlier in the day, Thompson spoke with employees at Northeast Delta Dental … . [In response to a question from the audience on civil unions,] he blamed courts for compelling states to allow same-sex marriage or civil unions and criticized judges’ interpretations that the constitutions in those states required it.
“The controversy that is before us is basically, so far, a judge-made controversy,” he said.
Except, of course, that New Hampshire, the very state he had apparently accidentally wandered into, recently passed a law permitting civil unions. That law was signed by Governor John Lynch on June 1. And judges had nothing to do with it.
After the event, Thompson was returned to his home in Tennessee where he is said to be resting comfortably, although he still appears to be somewhat disoriented and keeps asking the staff what time Gunsmoke comes on.
Actual Stupidity and Perceived Sexuality
Posted by Clif on 10/28/07 at 1:56 pm Category: Gay Issues, WankersApparently, one of the requirements to become an Associate Editor at the Wall Street Journal’s website Opinion Journal isn’t an ability to find and read legislation before opining about it. Case in point is nerdbucket Brendan Miniter, whose halting, stuttering interview with the WSJ’s loathsome James Taranto is so replete with crap about the Employment Non-Discrimination Act that it reveals that neither of this duo of dimwits has the slightest clue what he is talking about.
If you can’t stomach the entire video of this simpering twit, here’s a partial transcript:
BM: Just when you thought the marriage wars were over it looks lie they may restart. Congress this week is taking up a law called the Non-Discriminatory Employment Act and effectively what it would do is would undermine a lot of the state marriage laws that now allow for religious organizations and other employers to give out the benefits that they think that married couples should get versus single individuals.
JT: What are examples of some of these benefits?
BM: You know such as the normal benefits you get under employment, health coverage, these sorts of things that there’s [sic] now exceptions for religious organizations if they don’t want to extend them to same sex partners.
If you’re going to get in front of a camera, even if only a WSJ camera, and talk about legislation, it’s a good idea, to start with, to get the name right. It’s the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (or “ENDA”), not the Non-Discriminatory Employment Act.
Now once you get the name right, you might want to find the text of the proposed legislation on the Internet (ever heard of Google, Brendan?) and read it before spouting off about what the legislation says. If Brendan had done so, he would have seen that section 6, contrary to what he says, exempts religious organizations.
Now for some bonus loathsomeness:
BM: One thing that Congress would like to do is bar discrimination for perceived sexuality and now exactly what perceived sexuality is isn’t defined in the law and as you can guess it’s not something with a very clear distinction.
JT: Perceived sexuality? So if I’m a football coach and one of my players throws like a girl, I can’t cut him from the team
BM: (giggling snort) That’s right.
No, it’s not right. But, you know, I suspect that Brendan is probably a little touchy on the “perceived sexuality” issue and if he thought about it, would realize that adding such a provision to federal non-discrimination laws might be in his own self-interest.
N-Pod-Tism
Posted by Clif on 10/26/07 at 12:15 am Category: Wingnuts, Wankers, Loathsome Republicans
Frankly we wouldn’t normally give a damn who’s the editor over at Neocon-mentary. But we can’t resist commenting on the recent ascension of J-Pod to the porcelain throne in the executive crapatorium of that magazine, since it has led to some extravagant lying by J-Pod and N-Pod — his father and former editor of the magazine. Additionally, the Podhoretz palace coup elicited some delicious schadenfraude on account of the wailing and moaning of neocon wannabes who’d been doing all that selfless warmongering at the magazine, hoping to get promoted one day, just to be leap-frogged by Norman’s, er, well-rounded son.
But most importantly, it’s an opportunity to post a picture of J-Pod displaying his mini-package to the remaining staff at Commentary and saying “Eat me!”
According to this article in the New York Observer, J-Pod says he didn’t breathe a word to his dad, Norman Podhoretz, that the Board of the magazine was about to give him the job that his father had held for almost fifty years.
“I’m 46 years old,” John said yesterday, speaking to The Observer by phone from Disney World. “I wanted to make this decision on my own without reference to my father or his views.”
According to the elder Mr. Podhoretz, that’s exactly how it went: Asked last week if the appointment was a palace coup, he said that if it was, it wasn’t staged by him. “I know that it looks like that,” he said. “But oddly enough it isn’t.
Sure. I believe that. Totally.
Some skeptics are not so sure. “Of course Norman was involved,” said a longtime contributor who agreed to speak on condition of anonymity. … “The nepotism is shocking. This is a magazine, not a little family business.” The contributor went on: “The people who have worked there a long time have been misled about the succession. These are people who are in the prime of their careers who would not have been putting in year after year as editors if they knew Norman’s son was going to jump over their heads.”
Pity. All that work by those staff writers to advocate invading Iraq and Iran and now all they have to show for it is 3,800 dead Americans in Iraq rather than the key to the executive pisser.
More Nonsense from Rush
Posted by Clif on 10/24/07 at 1:13 am Category: Politics, Wingnuts, Wankers, Wingnut Science, Climate Change
One of the more ridiculous ha-ha-gotcha arguments of the global warming deniers is the one where those expressing concerns about global warming are labeled hypocrites because they don’t live in a cave wearing animal skins and eating raw meat.
“Look! Al Gore uses electricity!”
“Hey, you just farted. Don’t you know methane is a green house gas? If you really believed global warming is a problem you’d have a cork up your butt! Hahahahaha. You’re pwned!”
You might think that those would be hard to top, but that would only because you hadn’t been listening to the fat-assed Oxycontin addict Rush Limbaugh, who said this about the Southern California fires:
Guys are trying to keep flames from coming underneath the door in their garages and so forth. And the people that were noticeably absent were the environmentalist wackos. Where were Greenpeace, Sierra Club and where were their bucket brigades, where do these people show up in time of disaster like this? They just love the wilderness, don’t they? It’s what they always say, “Save the species. Save the earth.” Well, Mother Nature turned a whole bunch of Southern California via a torch, and I didn’t see one Algore acolyte out there trying to help out. I’m sitting there watching this and I wonder how much CO2 and particulate matter got belched into the atmosphere from one fire, let alone five different fires out there. Talk about carbon footprint, try charcoal footprint.
Russ tries to make it sound like he was out in Southern California surveying the identity and environmental opinions of everyone fighting the fires rather than firmly planted on his fat ass in a radio studio in Florida. But let’s assume that Rush is right, what the fuck does that mean? Does it mean that all environmentalists are hypocrites unless they show up at every single forest fire on earth with a water bucket?
But, of course, all this is bluff and bluster from the fat man, who is obviously still jonesing for another Oxycontin fix. Let’s cut through the wingnut science to a bit of real science. Although forest fires release carbon in the short term, regrowth will reabsorb the released carbon dioxide. But forest fires may also make forests carbon negative by converting part of the burned trees, which would otherwise release carbon dioxide when they die and decay, into charcoal which does not decay and release carbon. Read this article for an explanation of how his all works. A carbon-trapping charcoal footprint is, in fact, a good thing and completely different from a carbon footprint. Have another Vicodin, Rush.
The Name Game (Cocker Spaniel Edition)
Posted by Clif on 10/21/07 at 9:08 pm Category: Dog Blogging
Name the cute one on the right!
We were over at Sadly, No! today ridiculing the eminently ridiculous Don Surber. So, if you’re looking for some Sunday snark, you can find it over there.
Today we are completely snark free here, because puppies are involved. Yesterday I was in Wilkes-Barre, PA, looking at cocker spaniel puppies, and in five weeks, the girl on the right will be moving to D.C. and taking up residence chez Clif. Before then, she needs a name. I have a couple of ideas, but I’d like to get input from any faithful Outsiders™ who have any constructive suggestions of their own. And no, I will not be naming her after Peggy Noonan. Because if we named her after Peggy, there would be a good chance that I’d soon be coming home to a dog with Grey Goose on her breath.
If Only Lucianne Hadn’t Been Pro-Life. . . .
Posted by Clif on 10/17/07 at 6:17 pm Category: Politics
Jonah the Whale explains why he is pro-life:
Part of my reasoning [for being pro-life] is politically pragmatic. Right-wing activist Grover Norquist once told NRO’s David Freddoso that anyone who can go to black-tie dinners and face the haranguing of rich donors for his pro-life stance has the backbone to support tax cuts, too.
That’s a crude way of putting it, but I know what he means. Being pro-life is so unfashionable, so uncool, I tend to trust politicians who are willing to hold the line.
Being unfashionable and uncool might be a reason, say, for Jonah to justify why he watches Star Trek reruns in his underpants while eating Cocoa Puffs and Cadbury Eggs. But it’s about as good an argument for being “pro-life” as it as for going on a school shooting rampage in a trench coat and a beret.
And that gets me to my more philosophical or principled reason for being pro-life
Well, Jonah, we never thought you’d get there. Everyone is all earsl
I am convinced that a baby minutes, days or weeks before full term is, simply, a baby.
Those liberal pro-lifers, however, apparently think that a baby a few minutes before birth is just a Beanie Baby or something.
And despite what you constantly hear, Roe v. Wade doesn’t recognize that fact.
Boy, for Jonah to say that about Roe v. Wade he’s obviously read it very carefully. Not.
Let’s then do something Jonah hasn’t and actually read what the Supreme Court said:
With respect to the State’s important and legitimate interest in potential life, the “compelling” point is at viability. This is so because the fetus then presumably has the capability of meaningful life outside the mother’s womb. State regulation protective of fetal life after viability thus has both logical and biological justifications. If the State is interested in protecting fetal life after viability, it may go so far as to proscribe abortion [p164] during that period, except when it is necessary to preserve the life or health of the mother.
Yup. Couldn’t be clearer. At viability — e.g. a few minutes, days or weeks from term — it’s a baby and the State can regulate abortion. Maybe there’s a special wingnut edition of Roe v. Wade that Jonah consulted instead of the actual opinion.
NOTE: Seb at Sadly, No! pretty much says the same thing — except for the bit about trench coats and berets — but I swear I finished this post before reading Seb’s.
The War Against Thanksgiving
Posted by Clif on 10/14/07 at 7:08 am Category: Wingnuts, The War on Christmas
In case you think it’s too early to go out and fight the War against the War on Christmas, the folks at Wingnut Daily have kindly provided an opportunity for you to express your white Christian victimhood in a more seasonally appropriate way:
And, if you think it’s just too early to worry about the anti-Christmas onslaught, go on the offensive now and proclaim the true meaning of Thanksgiving. After all, it’s not really about pilgrims and turkeys — it’s about thanking God for all the blessings in our lives.
So, not only can you buy the lovely magnetic bumper sticker pictured above, but you should march into Safeway and demand that they remove all those satanic turkeys from the meat section, because Thanksgiving is about God not Butterball. Additionally, Christian parents will want to make sure that their children are not forced by secular humanist teachers to turn drawings of outlines of their hands into crude representations of turkeys.
But don’t stop there! Letters should be written to those gay-lovers at the NEA to demand that parents have the right to opt out from any lessons implying that it was appropriate for white pilgrims to sit at the same table with, indeed, to eat with, dusky-skinned pagan savages. Finally, please write your Congressional representative to urge that he or she support the bill introduced by Michelle Bachmann to change the name of Thanksgiving to Thankjesusgiving.
Picture of the Day
Posted by Clif on 10/13/07 at 10:24 am Category: Radical Clerics
Pat Robertson reacts to news that Al Gore was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize
The story behind the picture of the day can be found here. [via Pam]
And for more on the Gore prize, go see my post today at Sadly, No!