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Archive for July 2006
Michael Liedeen
Posted by Clif on 07/31/06 at 3:51 pm
Category: Lying Republicans, Iran
Michael Ledeen, the neoconman whose fingerprints were all over the forged Niger documents, now says he opposes military action against Iran:
Meanwhile, a collection of frauds, writing in places like Rolling Stone, Vanity Fair, The New Yorker, and Mother Jones, continuously recycles a story saying that a neocon (code for “Jewish”) conspiracy duped Bush into going to war in Iraq, and is now arranging the invasion of Iran. . . . And people like me are accused of masterminding the whole thing, even though I oppose a military campaign against Iran.
I suppose then that it must have been someone else who wrote this column under Ledeen’s last name just a few months ago:
It’s time to take action against Iran and its half-brother Syria, for the carnage they have unleashed against us and the Iraqis. We know in detail the location of terrorist training camps run by the Iranian and Syrian terror masters; we should strike at them.
UPDATE: ThinkProgress found another invade Iran quotation from Ledeen, this one dated July 11:
I would insist that my soldiers have the right of “hot pursuit” into Iran and Syria, and I would order my armed forces to attack the terrorist training camps in those countries.
Ledeen either has a very short memory or someone is running around impersonating him.
You’ve Come a Long Way, Sugar Tits
Posted by Clif on 07/30/06 at 11:36 am Category: America's Shittiest Website
The ink on the police report was barely dry before K-Lo, proprietrix of America’s Shittiest Website™, came rushing forward to play Mary Magdalene at Mel’s crucifixion:
Needless to say, just about everything about his DUI run-in sounds awful. That said, the inevitable rush to celebration from some is unfortunate.
Yes, it is indeed unfortunate when a sexist, homophobic, anti-Semitic hyper-religious right-wing celebrity is shown to be a sexist, homophobic, anti-Semitic jerk. Pardon me for a moment, while I pop the cork on this bottle of Pol Roger cuvée Sir Winston Churchill.
But of course, K-Lo’s real goal is to protect the greatest movie ever made:
That movie is what it was — we all know which movie I mean — and that wasn’t a drunken anti-Semitic tirade.
No, it wasnt a drunken anti-Semitic tirade. It was a completely sober anti-Semitic tirade which attempted to place the entire responsibility for the crucifixion of Christ on the Jews.
But the best part of K-Lo’s post is her insistence that Mel “What are you looking at, sugar tits?” Gibson is — get this — still a feminist in her view:
P.S. And yes, by the way: Even if the arrest report that’s floating around the ‘net holds up (including a comment to a female officer), it won’t change anything about what I said about the “new feminism” that was clear and welcome in The Passion.
Not surprisingly, K-Lo’s “new feminism” is simply “old subservience” in a new, misleading package
K-Lo tries to give Mel even more cover by suggesting, without any basis, that the police report was a fake. Sadly for K-Lo, Mel has admitted that it’s accurate. So, K-Lo, you can take off the Mary Magdalene garb — it doesn’t look like there’s going to be a resurrection here any time soon.
Bravedrunk
Posted by Clif on 07/29/06 at 10:02 am Category: Wankers
Über-Catholic director Mel Gibson’s gorefest “The Passion of the Christ” made some wonder if the director might be anti-semitic. Well, yesterday he removed all doubt during his arrest in Malibu for drunken driving. While being transported to the police station for booking he berated the arresting officer with a barrage of anti-Semitic remarks, including “fucking Jews” and “the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.” During this tirade he asked the arresting officer “Are you a Jew?”
Other highlights of the arrest included an attempt by Mel Gibson to escape arrest by running back to his car and the discovery of a partially consumed fifth of Cazadores Tequila in a brown paper bag on the floor of Gibson’s car. Gibson’s response when informed of the discovery of the bag of hootch was that it wasn’t his. Uh-huh. Mel is not only an anti-Semite but a really bad liar too. During the arrest he referred to a female police officer as “sugar tits.” I guess Gibson thinks this is “What Women Want.”
The original police report was rewritten by the arresting officer at the request of his supervisor to delete Gibson’s inflammatory anti-Semitic remarks. But not before the original report made its way to the Internet. You can read it for yourself here.
Just think, it was only last month that Mel announced he was moving from his Malibu home to escape the pernicious influence of his new neighbor Britney Spears and to be closer to the $5 million church he built for his friends at Opus Dei.
Cross-posted at The American Street.
What Planet Would Jesus Warm?
Posted by Clif on 07/28/06 at 8:51 am Category: Wingnuts, Radical Clerics, Environment
The ability of right-wing radical clerics to find allegedly religious justifications to align themselves with every jot and iota of the wingnut agenda never ceases to amaze me. The latest example is global warming. Recently several talibangelicals have been told by Jesus that global warming is a liberal lie.
Last week, two talibangelicals, Calvin Beisner and Jim Tonkowich, pictured from left to right, had a little shindig over at the National Press Club on Tuesday to explain why Jesus loves fossil fuels. Fortunately for those of us who couldn’t be there, James Dobson’s Focus on the Family gives us all the details.
First up at the press conference was Calvin Beisner, Ph.D. who is an associate professor of historical theology and social ethics at Knox Theological Seminary and who is therefore eminently qualified to discuss the science of global warming.
[According to Al Gore,] “[t]he scientific consensus is that we are causing global warming.” But Calvin Beisner of the Interfaith Stewardship Alliance said his research shows something different. In fact, studies show that about 85 percent of all the warming in the 20th century can be attributed to changes in energy output from the sun.
“Much more likely would be (that humans are a) very small percentage, even way under 10 percent, but certainly not the main cause,” Beisner told Family News in Focus. “So, no, Gore is simply wrong.”
Of course, you might wonder what sort of research on global warming can be conducted by an associate professor of historical theology. Is he comparing the temperatures described in the Book of Genesis to the temperatures found in the Book of Job? Has prayer revealed to him that 85 percent of global warming is due to solar activity? The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, on the other hand, which doesn’t pray about these matters, has dismissed the idea that solar variations are the cause of global warming.
Beisner doesn’t cite any studies to support these ideas, and I couldn’t find any support for this 85 percent number that he pulled out of his, er, imagination. But in other writings Beisner has made a big deal about a petition signed by 18,000 “scientists” denying that human activity causes global warming. The petition was, of course, totally bogus and was signed by self-proclaimed scientists who were not required to have any background in climate science and were, in large measure, doctors and dentists.
So what, you ask, does Jesus have to do with this? That’s where Preacher Tonkowich comes in. As the Focus folks explain:
The Rev. Jim Tonkowich of the Institute on Religion and Democracy said there is a spiritual battle behind the global-warming scare.
“Much secular thinking about the environment includes a right to abortion. Why is that?” he asked. “Well, we want to keep the population down because human beings are nothing but users and polluters.
“The biblical view sees human beings as stewards, builders, co-creators with God. Take the stuff of creation and make — build cities.”
Got that? Anybody who argues that global warming should be controlled is, in fact, just trying to figure out a way to abort babies and deny our God-given right to drive SUVs. Praise the Lord and pass the Hummer!
Holy Toledo
Posted by Clif on 07/26/06 at 11:56 am Category: Wingnuts, Radical Clerics
Bible-school dropout and megachurch owner Rod Parsley, who is one of the talibangelicals behind Ken Blackwell’s race for governor in Ohio, is profiled in “Holy Toledo,” an excellent article by Frances Fitzgerald in this week’s New Yorker. My guess is that Parsley is also a nursery-school dropout based on this lunatic quotation from Parsley that appears in the article:
I do not believe that our country can truly fulfill its divine purpose until we understand America was founded, in part, with the intention of seeing this false religion [Islam] destroyed.
I guess I must have missed the parts of the Constitution and the passages in the Federalist Papers that called for the destruction of Islam. My copies must have been edited by liberals.
Podenfreude
Posted by Clif on 07/25/06 at 12:45 pm Category: Gay Issues, America's Shittiest Website
Over at America’s Shittiest Website™, the loathsome John Podhoretz poops out this cryptic little post:
Now this is funny. . . And it's not even a joke!
So what’s got John all giggly? Did K-Lo pass gas? Was Jonah the Whale attempting to speak Klingon again?
No, if you follow the link, you’ll see that John thinks that the separation of a lesbian couple is a real knee slapper. The couple in question brought the suit in Massachusetts that led to the recognition of gay marriage in that state, which is why Podhoretz thinks it’s hilarious. That’s what I love about the wingnuts like John: they’re always able to find something to laugh about in other people’s misfortunes.
You wanna know what’s really hilarious? This article about Podhoretz is hilarious. It’s old but it’s worth a read, particularly this part:
Scattered around Washington are bitter former employees or friends of Podhoretz; some are known as Pod scholars. Pod stories are gleefully and wickedly traded in Washington like sniffs of glue. It’s clear he had a problem keeping staff; when he returned to the Washington Times after an absence, almost half the 40 or so writers who worked under him eventually quit or asked to be transferred. . . .
Before his exit, Podhoretz exhibited a certain status anxiety in a more flamboyant way. He complained obsessively when he found out Fred Barnes’s office would be bigger than his. He insisted his secretary have a wall around her office so no one would read his mail. Once, at a meeting, an assistant tried to teach the staff how to transfer calls, and Podhoretz barked, “Bill Kristol and I don’t transfer calls.”
Now that is funny.
And to the Republicans for Which It Stands
Posted by Clif on 07/24/06 at 9:53 pm Category: Civil Rights, Stupid Republicans
Last Thursday, the House of Representatives debated the Pledge Protection Act which is designed to keep “under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance. This presented an unparalleled opportunity for Republican nonsense.
My favorite bit came from closet case and confirmed wingnut, David Dreier (R - Cal.), who was afraid that federal courts would force California to rename a bunch of its towns:
Well, for starters, in the County of Los Angeles, Mr. Chairman, we have already seen the removal of the cross from the seal of the County of Los Angeles. . . . [O]ne must conclude that the natural extension of this, . . . let us look at some of the cities in California: The City of Angels, Saint Francis, San Francisco, San Diego, another saint. I found that my city that I reside in, the city of San Dimas, is the name for the reformed saint of thieves, San Dismas. But one must come to the conclusion that if we are going to continue down this road, that the west coast would . . . be the lost coast. . . .
Got that? If we remove “under God” from the pledge we’ll have to rename half the cities in California, which will mean that Californians will be condemned to drive the freeways forever because they won’t know the names of towns anymore. All this time in the closet has obviously been hard on Representative Dreier because his mind just isn’t right anymore.
(Previously posted at The American Street.)
The Secret of Swank
Posted by Clif on 07/23/06 at 10:56 am Category: Politics, Wingnuts
Better blogs than this one have remarked (here and here) that Pastor J. Grant Swank is, among other things, quite prolific. You might say that Swank isn’t just a wingnut but a grove of wingnuts entire unto himself. So what is the secret behind Pastor Swank’s voluminous output? Pat Robertson’s Age-Defying Shake? Is he popping pseudoephedrine?
Well, faithful Outsiders™, I’ve discovered his secret and will reveal it exclusively here. Swank recycles his shit. Yes, anytime the muse hasn’t slapped him upside the head, the Pastor dips back into his archive, does the Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V thing and, voilà, a brand new column!
For example, S.Z. at World O’Crap recently shared a column from Pastor Grant, dated July 19, about the recent plot by the homosexuals to infiltrate the Mennonites (presumably because of the Mennonite flair for fashion). Grant’s jeremiad about Gaynnonites, starts like this:
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When visiting Mennonite friends in central Pennsylvania, they informed us of their grave concern. Because they are born again Christians, life-long Mennonites, they are alarmed at the enemy taking over the Mennonite congregations.
So while having breakfast with our friends, Paul showed me a magazine published by the Mennonites. There were numerous letters to the editor exclaiming over the infiltration of homosexuals.
So, it sounds like the prolific pastor just visited some folks in Pennsylvania and came back with the shocking news that the Mennonites are thinking about moving to West Hollywood. But I was certain, as an avid Swank-ophant, that I’d seen this before. I mean, the concept of gay Mennonites is not something that you easily forget.
In fact, Swank has written this column several times before, first on April 16, 2005, then a year later on April 7, 2006, and now yet again on July 19, 2006. Needless to say, Swank doesn’t mention that this is the third time around for the same column.
So that got me to thinking: how often has Swank plagiarized himself? Here are a few examples I found:
I found many, many more and you can too with a little help from Google. Usually this sort of self-plagiarism gets a writer into trouble, but somehow I have the feeling that the Pastor will be able to get away with this stunt for quite some time.