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Archive for January 2006
More Buttarsininity
Posted by Clif on 01/31/06 at 5:53 pm
Category: Stupid Republicans, Buttars
Utah Republican Chris Buttars, who has spent his legislative career in Utah trying to take gays out of school and put creationism in, isn’t exactly the sharpest knife in the Utah legislature’s drawer. He more than demonstrated this with his recent opposition to a Utah bill that would allow the state of Utah to purchase up to $5 million in goods and services from “Community Rehabilitation Programs” that employ disabled workers. According to this article in the Utah Daily Herald:
Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan, also voted against the bill. He compared the proposed program to affirmative action.“I was very much opposed to affirmative action in hiring,” Buttars said. “Is this an affirmative action program just in a different dress?”
Because, you know, it’s a disabled person’s own damn fault that he is in a wheelchair and he really shouldn’t expect anyone to cut him any slack because of it.
Abe Who?
Posted by Clif on 01/30/06 at 9:08 pm Category: Lying Republicans, White House
whether he could get away
with having a New York Times
reporter shot.
In his Saturday radio address, Our Glorious Leader trotted out the current Republican whopper on filibusters:
Throughout its 216-year history, the Senate has held an up-or-down vote on every Supreme Court nominee with majority Senate support.
Except, of course, for the Republican filibuster of Abe Fortas’s Supreme Court nomination.
Bush is apparently repeating the silly argument that Fortas didn’t have majority support. That argument is silly because if the Republicans had enough votes to vote down the nomination, there would have been no need to filibuster Fortas. Besides Republican Senator Howard Baker defended the Republican filibuster at the time by saying:
On any issue the majority at any given moment is not always right.
Which is pretty much an admission that the Republicans did not have the votes to deprive Fortas of majority support.
Bang, Bang, Your Bulletproof Vest is Dead
Posted by Clif on 01/27/06 at 9:56 pm Category: Stupid Republicans
the bulletproof vest he
claims that he never wears
Republican delegate Jack Reid “accidentally” fired a handgun yesterday in his office in the Virginia State Capitol Building. The bullet just happened to hit a bulletproof vest that just happened to be hanging on his door, rather than going through the door and killing someone in the hall. My guess is it just happened to hit the bulletproof vest because this backwoods nitwit was trying to see if the bulletproof vest worked
According to a news report in the Virginian-Pilot, Reid then apologized on the floor and, after he did so, his fellow delegates “applauded.” That’s right, they applauded. You’d think he had just finished singing “Nessun Dorma” from “Turandot” rather than having just nearly killed somebody while playing with his gun.
And forgive me for asking, but what on earth does anybody need a gun and a bulletproof vest for in the Capitol Building in Richmond? Are there marauding gangs running up and down the corridors? Have Islamofascists been climbing through his window?
Reid, who apparently felt no need to explain the gun, did however think that he should explain the vest. He said it was a gift from law enforcement that he “leaves hanging in his office and does not wear.” Except, of course, that we have the little problem of this photograph where Reid is shown proudly wearing the bulletproof vest in question.
UPDATE: J.C. Wilmore makes a compelling case that Delegate Reid isn’t telling the truth about what happened.
Best. Correction. Ever.
Posted by Clif on 01/27/06 at 9:47 am Category: Wankers
Junk science peddler at Fox, Steve Milloy, has been caught with his snoot in somebody else’s feedbag, according to this article (subscription required) printed today in The New Republic. The tireless defender of big tobacco has — are you sitting down? — been taking money from, you guessed it, the tobacco industry. But of course Fox news doesn’t give a shit.
That’s where the best correction ever comes in. At the end of the TNR article is the following correction:
Correction: This article originally stated that Fox News’s director of media relations said, “Fox News is unaware of Milloy’s connection with Philip Morris.” In fact, he said, “Fox News was unaware of Milloy’s connection with Philip Morris.” [emphasis added] We regret the error.
Is that a finger in the eye or what? Fox is pissed off that the article suggested that they didn’t know that Milloy was a paid shill. So they insisted on a correction to make it crystal clear that they they know and just don’t care. We report. You decide.
The “Ic” Factor
Posted by Clif on 01/26/06 at 9:00 pm Category: Loathsome Republicans
As faithful Outsiders are aware, one of my pet peeves is the insistence of Republicans on using the noun Democrat as an adjective instead of its proper form “Democratic.” You know, they insist on saying the “Democrat” party, the “Democrat” Senator, the “Democrat” filibuster, the “Democrat” candidate, the “Democrat” platform, you name it. This usage, dreamed up originally by Republican icon Joe McCarthy, is now entrenched in the Republican canon. Republicans know that the correct phrase is the “Democratic” Party, but refuse to say that just to be annoying. And because “Democrat” Party, well, sounds shady, evil and unpatriotic.
So this morning President “Jack Who?” Bush referred to the “Democrat National Committee.” And just several days ago Ken “Just Because I Don’t Date Women Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Like Them” Mehlman got up in front in the winter meeting of the RNC and made “liberal” use of Democrat as an adjective.
But as Hotline on Call pointed out today, when Mehlman got up in front of the NAACP this summer, he suddenly remembered the correct use of the English language. It was “Democratic” this and “Democratic” that. Not once did “Democrat Party” cross his collagenized lips. Hmm, I wonder why that happened.
What Would Jesus Dump?
Posted by Clif on 01/25/06 at 5:39 pm Category: Wingnuts, Radical Clerics
Former professional football player turned preacher Ken Hutcherson wants to punish Microsoft for not treating its gay employees as sinful pariahs on a one-way trip to hell. He thought about a boycott of Microsoft but, according to this news report, abandoned that idea:
“For me to ask people not to buy their product would be stupid,” said Hutcherson, whose community is also home to the software company’s headquarters. Instead, he wants his supporters to buy one or two shares over the next few months.“All of us get together on the same day and sell our stock, just run it in the ground,” Hutcherson said. “The only way you can deal with these companies is affect their stock.”
Apparently Hutcherson learned neither math nor common sense in Bible school, assuming he even attended some kind of school. Let’s do the math for Preacher Hutch. Microsoft’s current market capitalization is about $280 billion and its stock is trading for approximately $26 per share. Now let’s assume that every single man, woman and child in the United States is a supporter of this nutbag scheme and buys 2 shares of Microsoft. That would be a little over $15 billion in Microsoft shares or just slightly more than 5% of the company. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t short Microsoft stock in the hopes that Pastor Hutch’s supporters will all sell their shares on the same day.
Here’s a more feasible idea. Hutch should have all his supporters flush their toilets at the same time. This will then cause a tidal wave in Puget Sound which will rush inland to Redmond and drown everyone at Microsoft.
Captain Obvious (House Edition)
Posted by Clif on 01/24/06 at 12:55 pm Category: Stupid Republicans
Ohio Republican John Boehner, who before his bid for majority leader was mostly known for his golf game, is over at Clown Hall today pimping his leadership bid. In case you were harboring any suspicion that Boehner might be smarter than your average bear, consider this mind-numbingly obvious observation from Boehner:
We’re in the majority because in the last six federal elections – from 1994 through 2004 – more Republicans were elected than Democrats.
Which is pretty much like saying the reason the Steelers beat the Broncos is that they got more points.
Harp(ing) on Homosexuals
Posted by Clif on 01/23/06 at 8:46 pm Category: Gay Issues, Wingnuts, Fundies
Stacy Harp, who clearly spends a fair amount of time stretched out on her sofa watching the soaps, is really, really pissed about the latest developments on General Hospital. What on earth, you wonder, could have gotten her so upset? That Brittany caught Chad and Amber making the two-backed beast on Brittany’s favorite comforter? Or that Heather and Todd finally lost their son Jason after his six-month bout with bird flu?
No. Here’s what has Stacy pissed:
Yesterday ABC soap General Hospital caved to the political correctness of the day and introduced their first homosexual character to the soap. This is sad news in Port Charles because up until this point, GH has been one of the most conservative and well thought out soaps on television.GH writers decided to introduce the gay character as Lucas, son of Bobbie and Tony Jones. How did they do it? In typical fashion - they had him get beaten up.
Which is a cheap trick by ABC, of course, because gays never get beaten up, but instead probably just beat themselves up to get sympathy and to force networks to put gay characters in sitcoms and soap operas.
This of course gets Stacy thinking about the characters she would like to see on General Hospital:
Now I wonder if GH plans to introduce a Christian character who has to deal with the intolerance of homosexuals and others who don’t like the fact that they [sic] live their lives consistent with their [sic] biblical beliefs?
Like this guy. (By the way, does anyone else think that if Stacey stopped obsessing about gays she might be able to learn how to stop mangling the English language?)
Or if ABC will introduce a homosexual character who has gotten help for himself and dealt with his pain and becomes whole and heterosexual.
Like this guy.
Or if ABC will deal honestly with the consequences of homosexual sexual behavior that leads to STD’s, AID’s [sic] and destruction of families and society.
You heard it first from Stacy. Gay sex has destroyed society.
A Gym Dandy Idea
Posted by Clif on 01/21/06 at 8:25 am Category: Stupid Republicans
House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R - Ill.) is so upset about the lobbyist corruption scandals that he has leaked on his blog some of the details of his double super-secret plan to address the problem. One proposal of Hastert’s plan, which I am just positive will nip the whole problem in the bud, caught my eye:
Let me point out that we plan to start work on this the first day that lawmakers are back – February 1st. And the first thing we’re going to do is end the access that former Members of the House who have become lobbyists have to . . . the [House] gym and other locations.
This provision will obviously protect Hastert from the undue importuning of lobbyists because he clearly spends countless hours in the House gym.