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December 2004
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Poll

In response to his plummeting poll numbers, Bush will probably
	Raise the color-coded terror threat level
	Announce that the FBI has foiled another terrorist plot
	Fire Karl Rove
	Have another shot of Jack Daniels and forget about it

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"The Baker's Tail" (12/16/2004)

eocon Bush supporters will spin anything. Consider Baker Spring, missile defense wingnut from the Heritage Foundation. Needless to say, he couldn't have been heartened when the first test of interceptor missiles in 2 years went bust. Even though the test had been postponed five times "for weather" (because rogue states would only launch missiles when the skies are blue) and even though the time and location of the incoming missile was known (again because rogue states wouldn't launch anything without calling us first), the missile interceptor shut down during the launch phase and sat right on the pad. Los Angeles, it seems, was destroyed as a result (at least in theory).

So what was Baker Spring's spin on this? Here's what he said on Late Night with Aaron Brown:

Well, I wouldn't consider it a failure. I consider it sort of a non-test.

Sounds like something Baker's wife must have said to him:"Ya know, Baker, I wouldn't consider that bad sex because it was so bad that, you know, it's like it wasn't sex at all."